Back at Work…Back In the Real World
Well, being off work for a week was great, but Phil and I have worked like dogs. Stripping wallpaper, artexing, painting, etc. It will take ages to get the house in shape, but we’ve got a good start on it.
I’ve had some interesting dreams recently: “meaningful” dreams, if you know what I mean. Both occured in the minutes just before I woke up, and I woke with the dream very strong in my mind. The first had to do with creativity, and the second with going back to what I’m good at, what I love.
Specifically, the second involved going back to working with horses and teaching children, something that I’ve really missed.
The first involved a modern art project (normally something I would NOT be interested in); but I rather liked the idea. Most people are familiar with the Venus of Willendorf, the exaggerated female fertility symbol, all breasts and belly, with head and limbs just suggested. In my dream I had created a modern-day, white-trash version of that: the Barbie of Medford. lol… Done in plastic, blonde barbie hair pulled back, hint of blue eyeshadow, hint of thong showing in back, and crop top pulled up over a pregnant belly. Kind of a trailer-park earthmother. I don’t know if anyone over here will really understand that reference. ;) Strange idea, yes, but it had been so long since I’d created anything, I was still filled with joy when I woke.
I think the dreams had to do with being upset with Phil for being self-centered and dismissive of anything that I do. I know it’s just his way, and he does really care for me, but I really miss the support. I miss having someone interested in what I do, someone to believe in my ability. I have fallen into a vicious circle of self-doubt, and so in recent years I have stopped creating anything.
I miss it.