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Holiday Blues…a Month Early

I think I’m becoming a bit blue at the thought of the holidays coming up. I’ve felt a bit estranged from everything, my home and family and friends, over the past months; the holiday season naturally makes this feeling of loneliness a bit sharper. I don’t feel comfortable around Phil’s family, as they know about the separation and had a kind of “wait it out – men will be boys” philosophy about it. I won’t feel very comfortable about being there this Christmas.

I suppose, as we get older, we all miss the Christmasses of our childhood. Those memories become over-sentimentalised over the years, and we also lose the wonder that we invested the holiday with as children. It helps a bit if you have young children of your own, which I don’t. I miss the smell of baking cinnamon rolls waking everyone in the morning, and chatting with my sisters and parents in the huge kitchen as the meal is prepared. I miss my father getting a bit tipsy as the day goes on, and the dogs who waited with shining eyes for a scrap of carved turkey. I even miss the country-western Christmas carols – I miss it all.

We’re so scattered now. I miss family, I miss friends. I don’t want to move back home – I burned too many bridges to move here – but I do miss the warmth of being wrapped in family.

7 thoughts on “Holiday Blues…a Month Early

  1. *hugs* Well I know its not the warm fire happy package wrapping kind of thing but your virtual friends are will be here to help you try and enjoy the holidays :)

  2. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ve lived here for eight years now. Christmas is one of the weirdest times. Actually, both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Although, I always try to visit home every November. This helps ALOT. :) There are some tips I can give you that might help with the homesickness. As for cinnamon rolls, get yourself a cinnamon candle and light it. The scent will help you feel warm and spicey. Smells are a great reminder. You also should establish some traditions and habits of your own! :)

    *big hug* Let me know if I can help in any way. :) I really do understand.

  3. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ve lived here for eight years now. Christmas is one of the weirdest times. Actually, both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Although, I always try to visit home every November. This helps ALOT. :) There are some tips I can give you that might help with the homesickness. As for cinnamon rolls, get yourself a cinnamon candle and light it. The scent will help you feel warm and spicey. Smells are a great reminder. You also should establish some traditions and habits of your own! :)

    *big hug* Let me know if I can help in any way. :) I really do understand.

  4. Thanks – I appreciate it. :) Those are good suggestions. My first Christmas here was wonderful, as things were still very new…and now, I suppose since I’ve settled in more, I feel more less excited about “English Christmases” and more isolated. Flying around the holidays is expensive, and I wanted to go home in February, but still… I suppose I’ll have to make my own cinnamon rolls. ;) Scent is a very powerful trigger for memory and emotion.

  5. Wow, this post could have been taken, almost verbatim, out of my head. Last Christmas was the first that I’ve ever been away from my family for the holidays. It was a huge adjustment for me but it was wonderful because of Dave and the kids. It was nice taking the traditions I hold dear and using them for my new family. :) My Grammy’s cinnamon rolls can’t be beat. But I do have a really nice recipe for them in a cook book my mom gave me. If you’d like me to send it to you, let me know.
    I know I’ll miss my family during Thanksgiving (especially since that’s when the memorial service for my great grandmother is going to be) and Christmas. There have been quite a few burnt bridges between my family and I also but I know that it’s not irrevocable.
    It’s actually harder to be away from my best friend, Shawna. She’s like a sister to me and being on the other side of The Pond from her can be really hard. But I know we’ll be moving back to San Diego next year and we’ll be together again. :)
    We have quite a lot in common, my dear. I hope you don’t mind that I added you. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while. Dave has really appreciated your friendship. And hey, we live in the same neck of the woods…maybe we could meet up someday! We can have a chat/bitch fest about living hear in bonny ole’ England! >;)
    Bright Blessings to you and your’s.
    ~Lani

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