Holiday Blues…a Month Early

I think I’m becoming a bit blue at the thought of the holidays coming up. I’ve felt a bit estranged from everything, my home and family and friends, over the past months; the holiday season naturally makes this feeling of loneliness a bit sharper. I don’t feel comfortable around Phil’s family, as they know about the separation and had a kind of “wait it out – men will be boys” philosophy about it. I won’t feel very comfortable about being there this Christmas.

I suppose, as we get older, we all miss the Christmasses of our childhood. Those memories become over-sentimentalised over the years, and we also lose the wonder that we invested the holiday with as children. It helps a bit if you have young children of your own, which I don’t. I miss the smell of baking cinnamon rolls waking everyone in the morning, and chatting with my sisters and parents in the huge kitchen as the meal is prepared. I miss my father getting a bit tipsy as the day goes on, and the dogs who waited with shining eyes for a scrap of carved turkey. I even miss the country-western Christmas carols – I miss it all.

We’re so scattered now. I miss family, I miss friends. I don’t want to move back home – I burned too many bridges to move here – but I do miss the warmth of being wrapped in family.



7 thoughts on “Holiday Blues…a Month Early”

  • *hugs* Well I know its not the warm fire happy package wrapping kind of thing but your virtual friends are will be here to help you try and enjoy the holidays :)

  • I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ve lived here for eight years now. Christmas is one of the weirdest times. Actually, both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Although, I always try to visit home every November. This helps ALOT. :) There are some tips I can give you that might help with the homesickness. As for cinnamon rolls, get yourself a cinnamon candle and light it. The scent will help you feel warm and spicey. Smells are a great reminder. You also should establish some traditions and habits of your own! :)

    *big hug* Let me know if I can help in any way. :) I really do understand.

  • I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ve lived here for eight years now. Christmas is one of the weirdest times. Actually, both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Although, I always try to visit home every November. This helps ALOT. :) There are some tips I can give you that might help with the homesickness. As for cinnamon rolls, get yourself a cinnamon candle and light it. The scent will help you feel warm and spicey. Smells are a great reminder. You also should establish some traditions and habits of your own! :)

    *big hug* Let me know if I can help in any way. :) I really do understand.

  • Thanks – I appreciate it. :) Those are good suggestions. My first Christmas here was wonderful, as things were still very new…and now, I suppose since I’ve settled in more, I feel more less excited about “English Christmases” and more isolated. Flying around the holidays is expensive, and I wanted to go home in February, but still… I suppose I’ll have to make my own cinnamon rolls. ;) Scent is a very powerful trigger for memory and emotion.

  • Wow, this post could have been taken, almost verbatim, out of my head. Last Christmas was the first that I’ve ever been away from my family for the holidays. It was a huge adjustment for me but it was wonderful because of Dave and the kids. It was nice taking the traditions I hold dear and using them for my new family. :) My Grammy’s cinnamon rolls can’t be beat. But I do have a really nice recipe for them in a cook book my mom gave me. If you’d like me to send it to you, let me know.
    I know I’ll miss my family during Thanksgiving (especially since that’s when the memorial service for my great grandmother is going to be) and Christmas. There have been quite a few burnt bridges between my family and I also but I know that it’s not irrevocable.
    It’s actually harder to be away from my best friend, Shawna. She’s like a sister to me and being on the other side of The Pond from her can be really hard. But I know we’ll be moving back to San Diego next year and we’ll be together again. :)
    We have quite a lot in common, my dear. I hope you don’t mind that I added you. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while. Dave has really appreciated your friendship. And hey, we live in the same neck of the woods…maybe we could meet up someday! We can have a chat/bitch fest about living hear in bonny ole’ England! >;)
    Bright Blessings to you and your’s.
    ~Lani

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