Trust

Phil and I have been arguing. Naturally enough, I suppose, given the circumstances; a wedding would be stress enough for most people, but add a move to another country and you have *major* stress levels. One of the main problems, I suppose, is that I am having a difficult time trusting him.

Last fall, when we’d broken up for a few months, he dated a lot of women…not just a lot of women, but several co-workers that he’d told me he had absolutely no interest in. I have a hard time reconciling that now…was he after them while we were together, flirtations at the water cooler and over lunch? Possibly. Probably. Will we run into the same situation again? Possibly. If I said probably, I couldn’t go on with this. And so I panic and stress, and we are both miserable during those times.

I don’t know what to do. I’d like to forget it, but doubt remains. If it doesn’t work between us, I will have little to come back to. My (new) car is being turned back to the loan company. I’ve cashed out my 401k to finance this. Everything has been dispersed: shipped, sold, given away.

What should I do?



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