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Big Fat Whinge

Warning: this entry is a BIG FAT WHINY RANT. Be warned.

Ok, so I’m really grumpy and out-of-sorts tonight. I went to the stable, and couldn’t ride yet AGAIN because the arena had been booked to someone from outside. I can’t properly school Kip if he’s off four days out of seven. And it never fails, when I really, really need to ride, I can’t (unless I hang out until 9:00, not an option after a bitch of a day). It’s £10 to book the arena – I reserved it for tomorrow night, and he said he wouldn’t charge me this one time. Big of him. Grrrr….

Ok, horse rant out of the way.

Work has been going fairly well, very busy; my boss is off to Barcelona for a week. The J2EE developer and I agreed that we would never say to my boss “you know, this would be a really nifty feature,” because the next thing you know, it’s suddenly the Big New Priority and we’re killing ourselves to code it by Wednesday. lol… There was a meeting in the lunchroom today regarding the takeover (sorry, merger), and the CEO had one piece of good news to perk everyone up: a 3% raise for everyone this year who didn’t get one last year! Woo hoo! This doesn’t apply to me, of course. I’m getting a substantial raise. Why am I so sure? Because I am going to throw the most enormous hissy fit in history if I don’t, of course. I am soooo underpaid for what I do. I hired an assistant recently, who is earning not that much less than I do, and our whiny copywriter makes almost what I do, at a fraction of the benefit to the company. It’s more money, or I find something else. I feel as though there’s nothing left of me at the end of the day, and it’s just not worth it.

Ok, that was the work rant. I suppose the only thing left is the relationship rant…and I’d hate to have to bar P. from my blog, again. :P Suffice it to say, we eventually have to make the decision that we know is waiting. I’m not happy. In all fairness, I suppose he isn’t happy, either – we don’t have anything in common to talk about (tech stuff and horse stuff bores him to tears) and no shared interests. Where do we go from here?

Ok, rant over. At least I got it all over with in one big lump, rather than just writing continual long, soppy entries about how much my life sucks. :) Hey, I’m efficient if nothing else.

9 thoughts on “Big Fat Whinge

  1. Rants are good sometimes. I can understand how frustrating it must be to own a horse and not be able to work with him.

    Good luck with getting your rise. You deserve it after the poop they have put you through.

    My company must be cheap. We write our own copy and Myself and the girls on my team have to proof read. I’m getting used to what the squiggles mean.

    As for the P rant. Tim and I have little in common, his geeky talk about computers and code sometimes bores me. I do try and listen though. He is allergic to horses, he dislikes dancing, I love it. We are chalk and cheese, but it works for us. I’m needy and he gives me attention. He is lazy so I look after him:) We do have a few shared interests and good sex helps:) I suppose at the end of the day we are happy no matter how different we are. If you are not happy then maybe you need to talk about why.

    sorry for the long reply.

  2. *hugs* I think you riding Kip is like me playing my cello. I get really angsty if I can’t play him for a couple of days. It’s an important part of my stress management.

    I do hope you and P sort things out. *hugs*

  3. It just feels strange to live with someone, drifting in and out of the same rooms but not really interacting with each other. Rather like a roommate situation…aside from the sex, of course. ;) I guess I just miss having someone to talk to (in person, not on LJ) about things that I care about. And perhaps I’m just feeling melancholy. :P

  4. We spend our entire day emailing each other back and forth continually…so part of the problem is that we already know everything we’ve done that day before we get home. When we do get home, you like some quiet time reading to chill out and then I make dinner, whch by the time we’ve eaten it means you’re getting sleepy…we simply run out of time…

    The coding stuff does go over my head – I admit it, and the horse stuff doesn’t bore me, it just means very little…you tell me something Kip’s done and you’re happy about it, but I don’t have the bacground in horses you do, so I really don’t know how big a deal it is…

    You continually assume I’m not happy, waiting, etc, and you’re continually wrong. We’ve got a lot more in common than a lot of people, I think one of the problems is that we know so much about each other, there’s less communication because of it, we don’t have friends or hobbies we do together so that means we’re not out and about introducing new things to talk about…and being permanently poor doesn’t help. I do love you and wish upon wish you weren’t so sad all the time…

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