I’m getting tired of misfortune. We’re into our overdraft right now, the shower just went kaput, the roof is leaking and the bedroom ceiling is dripping (a guy from the roofing company came out to look at it, and said they’ll have to take part of the roof off to do anything, obviously at great expense), and as I pulled up in our street, the car’s clutch made a loud “twang” sound and went all the way to the floor. Fucking wonderful.
This is one of those times. You all know those times, when it feels as though someone is pissing on you, and you just want it to STOP already.
But enough. On a brighter note, a friend from where I used to work sent me this very non-PC joke:
A guy owns a horse stud farm. One day a friend phones him up, “I’ve sent a dwarf with a speech impediment to see you. He wants to buy a horse”. Sure enough the dwarf turns up.
Dwarf asks “I want to buy a horth.”
The owner asks him “Do you want a male horse or a female horse ?”
The dwarf replies “A female horth”
The owner shows him a mare.
“Nithe Horth” says the dwarf, “can I thee her eyth?” The owner picks up the Dwarf to show him the horse’s eyes.
“Nithe eyth” says the dwarf “can I thee her teeth?” Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse’s teeth.
“Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?” The dwarf asks. By now the owner is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the dwarf to show him the horse’s ears.
“Nithe eerth,” he says “Can I see her twot?” With this the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head deep inside the horse’s vagina, holding him there for a second before pulling him out & putting down.
“Perhaps I should rephrathe that” said the Dwarf, “can I see her wun awound?”