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Happy Birthday, Shaun!!!

First of all, a wonderful birthday to Shaun. I miss you!!! You and Jake need to get your asses over here so that we can go out. Like old times. :)

Phil had a dream last night that he was food shopping in a market with Ross Kemp (SAS drama Ultimate Force) and Carolyn Quentin. He and Carolyn Quentin were arguing over who was going to cook that night. Very bizarre…although it would have been a funnier dream if he and Ross Kemp were shopping for PVC corsets in a fetish shop or something. :)

A friend from home just sent this, and it really made my afternoon:

Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

“How long will this take?” I asked.

“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies.

I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”

Without missing a beat he says: “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

He’s still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

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