Personal

Only Sleeping

Well, I’m not going to do yet another “not dead” post. :)

I do feel as though I’m sleepwalking, to be honest. I rise on time, I get ready for work, I do the multitudes of tasks that I have to handle during the day, I go home, I game or read or watch a movie with P. I get through the day. I’m not creating anything personal at all, despite having one (maybe two) projects in my mind that are screaming to be born. I can see it in its entirety, I can see every page, every plot twist, each lush illustration. It wants to be born. And I’m afraid.

That’s most of my problem, I think. After well and truly falling off the career ladder two years ago, I haven’t gotten back on my feet. I am having trouble believing in myself, and so no one can believe in me. I was brave before, I was a warrior, and now I am wary and small…I fell so far, and I am afraid that I will never get back.

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